Copywriting

Win of the Week: Clarity and Attention to Detail Increase CTR by 86%

September 14, 2011 Posted In: Copywriting Comments: 1

Studying new winning ads is always fascinating because of the variety of products and services for which we're optimizing ad copy.

Every week, there is a new win ... in a new market ... for a new product. And yet, in spite of this variety and "newness," the principles of good ad writing prove themselves over and over again.

With that in mind, which of the two ads below do you think performed better? The headlines and the URLs are the same. Only the body copy is different. Which approach do you think worked best?

 

PPC Ad #1
Hospital Beds - Ad #1
PPC Ad #2
Hospital Beds - Ad #2

 

I suppose it's not too difficult to pick the winner. The grammatical errors make it easy to spot the losing ad. Ad number two is the winner. It was written by "SwayamDas," and it increased CTR by 86%.

So why did the new ad win? Here are a few reasons why...

1. The winning ad clearly describes the product. The first line of body copy repeats the primary keyword phrase "hospital beds." The searcher also discovers these hospital beds tilt and elevate -- an important detail for potential customers.

2. The plus sign (+) creates visual interest. The writer could have used a comma, but I don't think it would have been as effective.

3. The losing ad is sloppy. The placement of spaces and commas appears haphazard. This sloppiness makes searchers wary from the very first impression.

4. The primary keyword phrase in the losing ad ("Home Hospital Bed") wraps to the second line, which decreases comprehension. If a searcher is scanning quickly, they will see "Home Hospital" on the first line of body copy, and may get the wrong impression. They may miss "Bed" completely.

5. The losing ad starts poorly and doesn't get any better on the second line. "Showroom open today" makes sense, but I have no idea what "delivery" means in this context. It doesn't flow with the previous statement. Searchers will probably be confused and move on.

6. The winning ad includes a call to action. The word "Book" tells the searcher to take action.

7. In addition to the call to action, the winning ad clarifies the product being promoted. These are not just hospital beds. They are home hospital beds, and they are comfortable. These two distinctions encourage searchers to click and respond.

The bottom line: The new ad wins because it describes the product more clearly and includes a call to action. Plus, it avoids the grammatical errors of the original ad.

A few takeaways from this Win of the Week:

  1. First and foremost, aim for clarity in your ad writing.
  2. If you are going to use commas, use them properly.
  3. Try not to break up your keyword phrase onto two lines.

ryan-healy About the Author: Ryan Healy is a direct response copywriter and BoostCTR writer. Since 2002, he has worked with scores of clients, including Alex Mandossian, Terry Dean, and Pulte Homes. He writes a popular blog about copywriting, advertising, and business growth.

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Comments

Friday September 16, 2011

Gargoyle PPC (not verified) Said:

Ok to be fair, PPC ad #1 is one of the worst I have seen. Ever.

But... that's what allows us to be in business right? Ha ha

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