Take a look at the two ads below. If you were looking for CRM software ("CRM" stands for "Customer Relationship Management"), which ad would you click on? Which one jumps out to you? (If you've been following the Win of the Week column for very long, I'm willing to bet you can pick the winner.)
There is no difference in the URL. The only differences are in the title and body copy of the ad. Made your decision?
The winning ad is ad number one. It was written by BoostCTR writer "kbc5019," and it increased CTR by 89%. Where the original ad was getting 1 click, the new ad is getting 1.89 clicks.
Why did the new ad win? Let's take a look...
1. The phrase "On-Demand" in the original ad seems unnecessary. The question I ask myself is this: Isn't all software available to use on-demand? Am I missing something? (If "on-demand" is industry-specific jargon, I would still advise against using it.)
2. The original ad uses longer words and omits punctuation, which makes it harder to read. Read the body of the ad out loud. Notice how it's a mouthful? Notice how it's confusing without punctuation?
3. The original ad doesn't use any verbs. Ads that don't have at least one verb usually lack punch. (Not to mention, a sentence without a verb is technically not a sentence.)
4. The winning ad, on the other hand, focuses on the strength of the offer. This particular CRM software is free for 3 users. That's a key selling point. So the winning ad makes this the primary focus.
5. Demos and samples are a great way to win new customers. After all, with so many options available, people want to see what they're getting before they make a commitment. So the winning ad tells the searcher he can watch a demo of the software. Very effective.
6. Three words: Call to action. The winning ad has one; the losing ad doesn't. In the majority of contests I've analyzed, the winning ads have a call to action, whether subtle or overt.
The bottom line: The new ad wins because it emphasizes the free offer, uses shorter action-oriented language, lets the searcher know there's a demo available, and includes a clear call to action. Oh, and the winning ad ends with an exclamation point, another commonality among winning ads.
What's your takeaway from this contest? Feel free to leave a comment below.
About the Author: Ryan Healy is a direct response copywriter and BoostCTR writer. Since 2002, he has worked with scores of clients, including Alex Mandossian, Terry Dean, and Pulte Homes. He writes a popular blog about copywriting, business growth, and lifestyle design.